Haircut rap

 By Valerie Bloom

Ah sey, ah want it short,
Short back an side,
Ah tell him man, ah tell him
When ah teck him aside,
Ah sey, ah want a haircut
Ah can wear wid pride
So lef it long on top
But short back an side.

Ah sey try an put a patten
In da shorter part,
Yuh could put a skull an crossbone,
Or an arrow through a heart,
Meck sure ah have enough hair lef ‘
Fe cover me wart,
Lef a likkle pon the top,
But the res keep short

Well, bwoy, him start to cut
An me settle down to wait,
Him was cuttin’ from seven
Till half past eight,
Ah was startin to get worried
‘Cause ah see its getting late,
But then him put the scissors down
Sey, ‘there you are mate 

Well, ah did see a skull an' a 
Criss-cross bone or two,
But was me own skull an' bone
That was peepin' through,
Ah look jus' like a monkey
Ah did see once at the zoo,
Him say, 'What's de matter, Tammy,
Don't yuh like the hair-do?"

Well, ah feel me heart stop beatin'
When me look pon me reflection,
Ah  feel like somet'ing  frizzle up
Right in me middle section.
Ah look aroun' fe somewhey
Ah could crawl an' hide
The day I meck me brother cut
Me hair short back an' side.