Betwixt Living and Being

Betwixt Living and Being

Bits of confetti, tinsel and glitter
Cling to my hair as I leave…
My steps fall gently,
My breath creates streamers
Upon the night air….
*
I leave behind a part of me
that seeks expression,
that thirsts for recognition
Of itself through life………
I yearn for more than this….
*
What is it that eludes me?
Whither shall I find?
That which submerges me
In love’s dwelling of a different kind
A light shines....but has not form
I cannot see….
*
I know not what I search for
I only know I must
I drift through life’s experiences
Searching for quite something else
Sublime…………
*
I know it is here; in this world
That which I seek is found
But the trodden path
Is not the way…outward nor inward….
A paradox ! opposites canceling each the other….
I need to solve?
*
Yet not in solving is it to be found
A method there is none
A trackless way I tread
Walking across time
Crossing dimensions and space
Yet rooted….unmoving
*
Is it stars I seek…no, no
Into heavens I want to peek? …. no, oh no
a God perhaps? or knowledge that frees?
It is all this and yet (sigh!) much, MUCH more…
Solve the puzzle of life?
heaven knows!!
*
You ask, you receive; it is said
And so it comes to pass
But why then this emptiness
that lingers …through life
As flesh turns to dust
Even as I am alive?
*
I look back, am I missing something here?
Is it the tinsel? the glitter? the glamour?
After all !! is that what I seek?
Is it the very entrails of life and living
that twines and twirls round my feet?
As I soar in search of That something
elusive…….
*
That something! Is it found in the living…
Of the daily life and earning the daily bread ?
Oh no…no…THAT !!… I have had Enough Of
Then why am I here?
Why then am I here?
Why do I feel incomplete?
*
It is the Self we seek… they say
I am the Self! Why am I not complete?
Why then do I still seek?
All comes undone…answers fall through
I turn away…I turn within
What do I see?
Just emptiness….
Of a different kind?
*
How do I fathom my Self?
How do I get past my self?
To who I am within. The Centre...the essence
I am a seeker…but a seeker seeks without
I am a seer….but a seer sees outwards
I am a witness…of what? of life?
Of myself!….fine answer
spoken like a true student!
*
But I have to cease being a student
And follow my own truth
exquisite words but to what avail?
Where does all this lead?
Still to that great Unknown! Unknowable?
Of which I seek and know not what I seek.
*
I linger in the night air
transfixed in space and time.
open both ways….
…to the past …in the living of life comes in the night breeze the sounds of life and laughter, colours, sounds, music, of gladness and fulfillment, satiation of desires, restful sleep
….to the future…still, silent, sublime…comes the ceasation
of all things known, a pregnant silence of
all that I have known and will ever know
all that I have experienced
transcending dimensions, feelings sublime and pure, interwoven
held in perfect balance all in a moment
of Beingness……
yet……..emptyness?
*
I SEEK TO BE ALL THINGS
in a perfect blend of WHOLE
The very elixir of CREATION --NOTHING—
and in that nothingness I seek ALL THINGS
I don’t seek to escape life…I want to be ALL LIFE -
separate and distinct; yet not limited, not imprisoned !
The best of both worlds to choose at will
COMPLETE AND WHOLE!
A paradox ! of Truth.
I want to be both sides of the coin and the in-between….
And that which is beyond …….
*
Yet these are imaginings…...
What lies beyond? Can I define? Words restrict me?
To the known and experienced? To what avail?
Do desires and imaginings prompt one towards ?
The Unknown urging knowing
The Beyond urging fathoming
Life seeking expression beyond itself, urging becoming
Vaster than the Cosmos, beyond manifestation….?
*
I run into the future leaving the past behind
leaving the form as I run unto the formless
leaving behind identities, limiting, ….. into the limitless
running into expansiveness that gathers me unto itself
into the very expression of beauty, joy, purity, perfection, Wholeness
such mundane stuff of everyday being yet beyond all, …...................
*
Into an implosion of Self in an explosion of Cosmic fireworks !!!

Personal.

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