Life is

Life is 
what you make of it
years spent in spiritual pursuit
then !
a complete turnaround
to a material life
makes me question 
my authenticity
am i the same person?
what is my value system?
can i take myself seriously anymore?

How do I explain myself?

I sub-stand both; I transcend both
I am neither better in one or the other
The ego pursues this; then that; then yet another
Through it all I AM
I am neither spiritual Nor material
I am neither 
For both are but opposing sides of polarity.
Desire and a lack of desire is the same
the positive and negative pole of a polarity
Both are the higher arcs of the pendulum's swing.

I AM the point of rest
I AM the balance between the two poles
Neither negatively nor positively polarized.
I Am neither the materialist nor the spiritualist
I persist through it all.
I AM - unchanged, unchanging
Not something to be achieved
but to be realized 
in its purity
In the moment.

Be still and I will BE
No matter what mask is used in the outer expression
No matter where I travel; what I read; whom I listen to
I am nearer to me than my breath
closer to me than my thoughts
beyond the mind that describes
That which is indescribable. 
THAT EVER IS 
IN ITS INFINITUDE

Let go of idle searching
Rein in your mind; let it not roam
over the vast pastures of Creation
And when you are ready to really let go

Then as this world closes; 

Beingness opens.

It will be temporary so long as you
persist in this paradigm which is
akin to a mirror reflecting Me but
as a mirror broken a zillion pieces
reflecting Me a zillion fold
fractals of ALL THAT I AM. 
In a continuum of positive to negative.
What beauty! but what a camouflage!

On this you are broken as you strive 
and search and pray to find ME
You see me in all things yet will not
reach me for these are but reflections of ME
To find me is to get past that mirror that
deludes, deceives - the MIND.
And melt into YOURSELF
a fractal merging UNTO ITSELF
not a drop but the OCEAN THAT IT IS.