Detached Observation

This year has been the tug of war between opposites.
Vegetarianism vs Non Vegetarianism.
In the past two years a yearning towards vegetarianism
helped me push through all difficulties. This year with
a relaxing of the vegetarianism the desire for non-veg
came back with a vengeance. I am embroiled in this battle
of yes, no, yes, no, should, mastery, failure. Just as an
observer I see that both these positions are the polarities,
the high points of the pendulum at either extreme, its
point of rest at neutral, at zero is an inner stand where
I, the witness observe impartially the yo-yoing of the pull
and push of dualized ego. It is always just a ego story,
when it resists the higher way that will align with Essence.
Yet Essence is untouched by the perambulations of the
lower ego in its constant tug-of-war with matter and desire.
Essence sets a target, the ego either co-operates or insists
on its grazing in its beloved pastures which hastens or
delays the great Re-Union (in its expression). Intrinsically,
Essence is not touched or modified by its many outer
expressions. The whole story is the making the outer reflect
the Inner... how long it takes depends on the battle that is
played out in the playing fields of matter.